Rough Draft #1, Prompt #1, Biweekly #1 (UPDATED AS OF 9/28/11)

Hey Everyone! I just wanted to let you know that this is my first Biweekly and that I hope you guys can help me improve this Personal Statement. I am really bad at writing, especially essays, so don’t expect much. If you can cut some stuff from this, I would be really grateful. Just copy and paste the parts you want me to cut, and put it in my comments. Thanks!

Describe the world you come from – for example, your family, community or school – and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

            My parents got divorced when I was young. When I moved to Alameda in 4^th grade, I lost all of my friends in Oakland. I started to rely on my family for support. The person that has always encouraged me and became my role model was my aunt. She was always there when I needed help. I was at my grandparents’ house more than my own because my mom was always working. My dad was never around back then, so I turned to my aunt because my grandparents can only speak Chinese and my aunt was always there. She would help me with my homework sometimes, take me out to see a movie, and she always had junk food at her house.

            When I reached middle school, she was always busy with her own kids, but still helped me whenever she could. What made a big impact on my dreams and aspirations was my first day volunteering at Asian Health Services in Chinatown. She is a head nurse there and asked me if I wanted to go and volunteer there since I needed 20 community service hours to graduate middle school. It was the summer before 8^th grade. At first I was shy, but as the days past, I began to feel comfortable there. I loved working there because when I finish with a job, I get a sense of accomplishment. I love the feeling of being able to help someone. It makes you feel good about yourself. Even though some days I only shredded paper, it still made me happy knowing I was able to help. I volunteered there for the whole summer and earned 170 hours of community service. And since then, I volunteered there every single day that I could.

            My second summer, the summer before high school, I started working in their Medical Records. I pulled charts, made new charts, and even got to deliver them to the different units of the clinic. During that summer, I decided I wanted to one day work in Medical Records too. But as I spent more time delivering charts in the clinic, I also watched the doctors and nurses who helped patients every day with a smile on their face. And that’s when I realized I wanted to be a nurse. Since that day, my aunt has been my role model because she was smart, helpful, kind, and she always had a smile on her face.

            My aunt inspired me to follow my dream of being a nurse. Just this last summer, I was able to shadow nurses as they take doctor’s orders and examined a patient. I watched them communicate with the patient and asked them questions to better figure out what was wrong. I watched a nurse do a pregnancy test. I also got to shadow my aunt as she was training an ex-tern. She was teaching her how to test for glucose, hemoglobin, and hemoglobin A1C. That summer was the best. I loved every minute of it.

            My aunt has inspired and helped me my whole life. She was there for me when I needed her, and she is the reason why I discovered my dream of being a nurse. She also encouraged me to take Physiology this year. At first I was scared of seeing a cadaver, but she assured me that I will be okay, and I believed her. I hope that one day I can be a nurse and help people.

Thanks for reading this and I hope you comment! Please come back later this week for my weekly posts! Until then, see ya!