Rough Draft #1, Prompt #2, Biweekly #2

Hey Everyone! Welcome back! Today I'm going to be writing my second Biweekly post. It's the second prompt to my Personal Statement from my first Biweekly. So I hope you guys can help me cut it!

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

                I was in middle school when I first volunteered at a clinic. I remember being shy and quiet when I first got there. I didn't know anyone and they were all older than me. Well, not everyone. There was also a little boy who was 3 years younger than me and he was also volunteering there. So after meeting him, I started to open up. I was 12 years old then. My aunt brought me to the clinic to get my community service hours done for my middle school graduation requirements. After the first couple of days working there, I started feeling comfortable. They gave me papers to copy and shred, envelopes and postcards to stamp, and the providers’ paychecks and mail to be delivered. I also helped to make packages for patients.

After a couple of weeks, my aunt brought me downstairs to their Medical Records. It was another new environment for me, so I became shy again. There were new faces to remember, and new names to memorize. They immediately greeted me with open arms. They taught me how to make new charts for patients, find charts and put them away, and where to deliver them. Delivering the charts was always my favorite part because it allowed me to wander around the clinic with a purpose. I’m just mesmerized by the busy clinic with all of the providers and nurses running around and helping the patients. After delivering the charts, I always returned to Medical Records with a smile. Seeing all of the providers and nurses helping with a smile makes me want to smile too.

It’s been 5 years since then. I’m now 17 years old, a senior in high school, and I still volunteer at the clinic. I’m proud of myself for helping out these 5 years. Volunteering is something I love to do because I gain many experiences and memories. I not only volunteer at the clinic during my breaks, but I also volunteer as a tutor after school. Tutoring kids gave me the experience in being able to handle kids and communicate with them. I also made great memories and I hope to continue making more.

                My enjoyment in volunteering has made me the person I am today because it has shaped my dream of wanting to be a nurse. I enjoy helping people and my workings with kids made me want to help and care for them too. So to reach my goal, I took a physiology class to enhance my knowledge of the body and how the body works. Each day, my teacher sparks my curiosity and my interest in learning about the body grows. My determination in wanting to help people grows with each day I learn about a new disorder and how there are no cures yet. I am proud of this part of me and I hope that I can one day achieve my dream in helping those in need.
Thanks for reading this guys! I hope you guys liked it! Feel free to leave ANY comments and it would be great if you can give me some advice or help me edit this. I'm pretty sure I went off topic, but it’s a first draft, it’s not going to be perfect. Well, hope to hear from you soon. Until then, see ya! 

Rough Draft #1, Prompt #1, Biweekly #1 (UPDATED AS OF 9/28/11)

Hey Everyone! I just wanted to let you know that this is my first Biweekly and that I hope you guys can help me improve this Personal Statement. I am really bad at writing, especially essays, so don’t expect much. If you can cut some stuff from this, I would be really grateful. Just copy and paste the parts you want me to cut, and put it in my comments. Thanks!

Describe the world you come from – for example, your family, community or school – and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

            My parents got divorced when I was young. When I moved to Alameda in 4^th grade, I lost all of my friends in Oakland. I started to rely on my family for support. The person that has always encouraged me and became my role model was my aunt. She was always there when I needed help. I was at my grandparents’ house more than my own because my mom was always working. My dad was never around back then, so I turned to my aunt because my grandparents can only speak Chinese and my aunt was always there. She would help me with my homework sometimes, take me out to see a movie, and she always had junk food at her house.

            When I reached middle school, she was always busy with her own kids, but still helped me whenever she could. What made a big impact on my dreams and aspirations was my first day volunteering at Asian Health Services in Chinatown. She is a head nurse there and asked me if I wanted to go and volunteer there since I needed 20 community service hours to graduate middle school. It was the summer before 8^th grade. At first I was shy, but as the days past, I began to feel comfortable there. I loved working there because when I finish with a job, I get a sense of accomplishment. I love the feeling of being able to help someone. It makes you feel good about yourself. Even though some days I only shredded paper, it still made me happy knowing I was able to help. I volunteered there for the whole summer and earned 170 hours of community service. And since then, I volunteered there every single day that I could.

            My second summer, the summer before high school, I started working in their Medical Records. I pulled charts, made new charts, and even got to deliver them to the different units of the clinic. During that summer, I decided I wanted to one day work in Medical Records too. But as I spent more time delivering charts in the clinic, I also watched the doctors and nurses who helped patients every day with a smile on their face. And that’s when I realized I wanted to be a nurse. Since that day, my aunt has been my role model because she was smart, helpful, kind, and she always had a smile on her face.

            My aunt inspired me to follow my dream of being a nurse. Just this last summer, I was able to shadow nurses as they take doctor’s orders and examined a patient. I watched them communicate with the patient and asked them questions to better figure out what was wrong. I watched a nurse do a pregnancy test. I also got to shadow my aunt as she was training an ex-tern. She was teaching her how to test for glucose, hemoglobin, and hemoglobin A1C. That summer was the best. I loved every minute of it.

            My aunt has inspired and helped me my whole life. She was there for me when I needed her, and she is the reason why I discovered my dream of being a nurse. She also encouraged me to take Physiology this year. At first I was scared of seeing a cadaver, but she assured me that I will be okay, and I believed her. I hope that one day I can be a nurse and help people.

Thanks for reading this and I hope you comment! Please come back later this week for my weekly posts! Until then, see ya!